Summer

Hello.  We are now at the halfway point for summer.  We really haven't been doing too much this summer.  Just playing around the house.  Oliver has lots of impromptu pool parties, which involves a baby pool and sprinkler, and lots of water torture for Gray.

It was also Oliver's first year to really experience lighting off small fireworks.

We have also been enjoying some bounce house fun.

And the family favorite....corn on the cob.

And Swinging outside!

Hope you all are enjoying your summer!

Family Room

This week Jesse and I celebrated our 11th year of marriage.  Instead of a tropical vacation we were busy with the continuation of our kitchen project.  

My husband loves me when I make statements like: while we are painting and tiling in the kitchen, doesn't it make sense to take it all the way into the family room?

And while it does make sense, it's adding another huge room to our never ending project and a lot of work.

Yep only feelings of love for me when I do that to him!

So here is where our kitchen progress has gotten us.

And now if you turn the other direction you can see the family room progress.

Jesse took the whole week off and we even had grandparents watching the kiddos so we could attempt finishing this room.  It's the end of the week and we are not done.  But then again I'm not sure any home improvement projects ever get done on time or within budget.

So we will keep slowly plugging along.

Life

When you are in the midst of life and enjoying every second of it, it's hard to step away from all that enjoyment and blog about it.  Instead you tend to bask in all the gloriousness that is your life.

Ummm that sounds like a load of you know what.  And it is.  I have not been blogging lately as you are all aware.  Life is messy and stressful and the sickness this year.....just too much.

Yesterday I sat in my living room looking outside and contemplated going outside "streaking through the neighborhood screaming like the crazy person I feel I am right now".  And then wondering if I would get arrested and then actually be able to get the rest I need as someone else is forced to take care of my kids.  Probably not the greatest idea and of course I didn't do it, I am an introvert at heart.

I do find myself contemplating the direction of my life.  A lot.  I'm sure I have brought all these things up before too.  And for all the time I think about it, the main problem is, I don't actually do anything different.

I have so many different things that I find interesting.  I've always enjoyed cooking, decorating, renovating, fashion, etc.  Over the past few years I have been watching lots of documentaries that are showing me how we as a society are going down the wrong path on so many of these things (food, fashion, over stressed families, parenting, taking care of our resources, etc).

And the bottom line is, I want to be a better person.  And some of the stuff I've learned, I want to share.

So that's where I am.

And here are Oliver and Gray, enjoying the outdoors.

We started up our garden again this year.

I don't have any good pictures of Bella right now, as Bella has been having a really off winter.  Pretty much all pictures of her involve her crying, it's been rough.

But we still try our best to include her in everything.

Hello 2016

No resolutions are being made this year.  No goals are being set.  The name of the game is surviving with my sanity intact.

Last year was going to be a difficult year. Raising three young kids is never easy.  And ours are no angels and they know exactly which buttons to push to make us go crazy.

I think it's almost every day I question myself and what I'm doing.  Am I being the best person I can be.  And then sometimes if I'm being honest here....I question motherhood.  Was I even meant to be a mother.  Is it something I'm doing wrong or was I just dealt a difficult hand.  Others make it look easy.  Others choose to have 5 or 6 kids, when I question daily if 3 was too much for me.  It's just all so hard.  And when kids are sick, routine is off, no one is getting the sleep they need, life can seem unmanageable.

I know there are probably a million ways I could improve, but when you feel like you are stuck it's hard to get anywhere.  I read parenting books.  We've gone to parenting classes.  The information is there.  The follow through when life is swallowing you, is impossible.

It's funny because I have given up on the idea of happiness.  I don't want to be happy, I just don't want to feel stressed out and insane.  I want to be content with life.

Do you believe that in order for your life to change you have to start doing new things?  In other words you have to take a leap and do things out of your comfort zone.  I already mentioned I was stuck in a rut, and change is extremely hard for me.  I run things through my mind a million times, but I never follow through on anything.

I don't really have any answers.  I don't have any great ideas for change.  I just know that I need to do something.  This is not a very uplifting post for the New Year.  But it's honestly where I am right now.  It's why not a lot gets done around here and why there isn't much to post about.

I still believe life will get better.  I have hope.

Bella wearing her new crazy sparkle hat!

Oliver being crazy and showing off his new Legos he got from Santa.

Gray who loves the new indoor playground we installed for her (otherwise known as unfinished cabinets in the kitchen).

Speaking of the huge kitchen project.  Here is a shot from a few weeks ago.  Now we actually have countertops and a working sink....which is a bonus.  Getting the flooring installed is the next major hurdle.

And in case you don't remember what it used to look like....here is an old shot right before we replaced the fridge and started this whole thing.

And some mid-progress shots.

And this is where I will leave you for now....